Year two of life and I'm cruising. Walking, talking, cussing... You know the usual two year old things. I started walking the day of my second birthday at my birthday party, which was pretty epic! I got rewarded with presents which made me walk more but then I realized that walking didn't earn you gifts, becoming old does so in a way you're being rewarded for coming closer to death. My first word was big deal; in front of my uppity grandparents who very rarely cussed while on the freeway in a mid-size Sudan with a stupid woman in front of the car who had no idea how to drive. Being the smart little child I was I screamed "BITCH" as loud as I possible could, in my defense I was learning from my surroundings, big city, a horrible free way and parents who cuss like sailors in traffic plus all the other drivers I see daily it was inevitable I cussed. So yeah a good discussion ensued from there with my mom the prime target for why my parent shouldn't cuss in front of me. I learned other things too, like the phrase "shoedons" which took my parents a good six months to learn. I would take my shoes off anytime I possibly could, I would much rather walk barefoot then have shoes on, I think it's because I'm closer to nature but I really know that it's because I feel the ground and experiment with what the ground feels like or find out what a rock feels like to be stepped on (which is very painful let me tell you now.) All through my life even at the age of two I have been told I was and still am weird or different, the "shoedons" phrase made me unique in the terrible twos but during the terrific threes I'll reveal what made me very different from every human in the world. Here's a hint it deals with the bath room and restaurants!
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